I recently gave a speech at the Overland Expo Mountain West. This was my first ever in-person speaking engagement. And I ran into a problem that I don't expeience when writing. I couldn't be sure of my audience's knowledge level. When writing, I can assume that if you are reading an ADHD blog, you know what ADHD is and have some connection to it. I can also assume that if you don't know what I am talking about and you care, you can Google anything you don't understand. However, the same assumptions cannot be made when speaking in person. Maybe someone is just wandering past my room and notices that I am pretty animated and that the audience is laughing, so they stick their head in. And people probably aren't going to start Googling in the middle of a lecutre. But I could make the assumption that at least some of the people there came there with the specific intent of seeing me and learning about how to live a nomadic lifestyle with ADHD, since that was the topic of my talk. And those people already know what ADHD is. The conundrum was how to explain what ADHD is without boring the pants off of everyone who already knew. I decided what I needed was a metaphor.
ADHD is like a summer's breeze, riding a roller coaster, being a bunny rabbit. Yeah, not as easy as it sounds. And then it occurred to me. ADHD is best explained in the context of losing your keys. Hey, it's something everybody with ADHD and most people without it can relate to. We all understand that frustration and panic and confusion that goes with key losing. And it can really explain what is going on in the ADHD brain.
Let's start with the question of how did I lose my keys in the first place. Seriously, how did I do that? For those of you who don't know, I am a digital nomad. I live in 103 cubic feet. And I can I lose my keys without even getting out of the driver's seat. I'll be driving down the road and decide that it's time for a break. I'll pull over, reach in the back to get a snack, relax, play on my phone, have a little nosh. And then it's time to get going down the road again. Only, I can't because I can't find my keys. I look on the dashboard, where they are supposed to be. They aren't there. I look on the passenger seat, where they are likely to be. No, not this time. I look on the floor, in between the seat and the console, in my bag, everywhere. I even look in the glove compartment, even though I know I haven't opened that in weeks and there's nothing in there besides ketchup packets. I can't find my keys anywhere. And the questions is how did I lose my keys in the space of 20 minutes and 103 cubic feet.
Because I have problems with my working memory. Most people have heard of short term memory and long term memory, but what is working memory? Working memory are the memories you are making and using at the moment. Working memory is what lets you remember that I told you to turn left at the third light when you get to that light. Working memory is how you remember that the big, bad wolf easily blew down the house of sticks, while you read the part about him not being able to blow down the house of bricks. And working memory is what lets you remember where you put your keys down when you put them down. If that information doesn't go into working memory, it can't go into short term memory and if it doesn't go into short term memory, it can't go into long term memory. Which means 20 minutes later, I have no idea where my keys are.
Another reason I lost my keys is that I have trouble with my PPO. I don't mean my health care. I mean Prioritizing, Planning, and Organizing. In order to not lose my keys, I need to first say to myself, "I lose my keys a lot. I don't like losing my keys. It makes me unhappy. I should do something about that." Then I would need to think about how I could avoid losing my keys in the future and then put into place a plan of action or organization that would let me keep track of my keys. But I don't. I just get upset and angry when it happens. A breakdown in any of these steps is going to result in my frantically searching the car for twenty minutes.
And I lost my keys because I have very little impulse control. When we think of a lack of impulse control, we often think of compulsive shopping or gambling. Maybe we think of someone who blurts out the first thing that comes to their mind in a conversation. But impulse control can also mean not just dropping your keys when you are done with them, so that you can move on to something more interesting.
Well, now my keys are lost. I don't know how I lost them, just why. But now I have to deal with that. But I have trouble dealing with that because I have issues with my flexible thinking. Flexible thinking is what helps you to deal with new (and especially unexpected) circumstances. Although, let's be honest, at this point, losing my keys is not the least bit unexpected. But I had thought that I would be back on the road, rolling towards my destination, only to end up searching my car for the keys. I don't deal well with that. But I don't always know I'm not dealing well with that because I have issues with my self-monitoring. Self-monitoring is the ability to understand what you are feeling in the moment and name it. The inability to self-monitor goes hand in hand with a lack of emotional control. If I don't know what I am feeling, those feelings can overwhelm me. When I lose my keys, there's going to be cussing. There might also be screaming and crying, but for sure, there is going to be 103 cubic feet of F-bombs.
That all sounds very dire. And it can be. It's very difficult to live with ADHD. It can feel like you are constantly in that state of panic and confusion that goes alone with losing your keys. But it's not always like that. I have put it in this negative situation, losing keys, but life isn't always negative and ADHD isn't always bad. The inability to transition and lack of flexible thinking is transformed into hyperfocus. Hyperfocus is the reason that you will never, ever beat someone with ADHD at Halo. Hyperfocus is when everything else in the universe is drown out and there is only one thing the brain is focused on. This is very useful and can often help people with ADHD. Lack of PPO and impulse control issues turn into creativity, spontaneity, and humor. People with ADHD are just so much fun to be around. And lack of emotional control doesn't just apply to anger and frustration, it also applies to joy and wonderment. You haven't seen joy until you have seen the face of someone with ADHD as they learn something new or experience a triumph. ADHD is a burden and a blessing.
Oh, in case you were wondering... I got out of the car and heard the keys fall to the ground. They were in my lap the whole time.
