Why Students Need to Stop Studying for the PSAT

 I do more than ADHD coaching.  I’m also a tutor.  I work on the Wyzant platform (if you are looking for me) and I tutor high school and college students in English and the humanities.  Fall is a busy time for tutors.  The students have started new classes and it takes about a month to start falling behind or to realize you are in over your head.  It’s also time for college admission essays.  On top of that, it’s time for the PSAT.  I hate the PSAT.  Well, not the test.  I have problems with the test, but I don’t hate it.  I hate how it’s handled.  Many schools just tell students when they will be taking the PSAT and they do that on short notice, unlike the SAT or ACT, which is scheduled and planned for months in advance.  Which isn’t to say that nobody knows it’s coming.  It’s coming.  You’ve known that since 7th grade.  Somewhere between mid-October and mid-November, the PSAT will be given.  It happens every year.  You know what else happens every year?  Requests to help students cram for the PSAT.  Students find out that the PSAT will be given in two weeks or one week or (as happened to a student of mine this semester) two days.  This seems really unfair.  It is certainly shocking.  It definitely causes a lot of anxiety.  But it’s not unfair.  And here’s why it’s not unfair: You can’t study for the PSAT. 

I know, I’m gonna get backlash from that.  But it’s true.  It’s just not that kind of test.  It’s not a test of knowledge; it’s a test of skills.  Now, it is perfectly possible to improve one’s reading, writing, and math skills.  But that isn’t really done by studying; it’s done by practice.  If you want to be a better reader, read.  If you want to be a better writer, write.  If you want to be better at math… okay, study the formulas.  But once you know them, then all you can do is do the math.  What you absolutely can’t do is cram.  There’s nothing to cram.  You can practice and should, but that should just be part of learning.  If you can’t pick out the main idea of a reading passage, there’s nothing that can be done in 72 hours that will change that.  Just like an IQ test, the PSAT measures how you think and process information.

The PSAT is like an IQ test in another very important way.  They’re both meaningless.  The IQ test has no scientific basis and cannot measure how well a person can learn and the PSAT has no scientific basis and cannot measure how well a person has learned.  Really, the only thing the PSAT measures is how well you might do on the SAT.  And that’s all it’s supposed to measure.  That P stands for Practice.  The PSAT is there to help you learn what areas you might want to improve before taking the SAT.  But you can’t study for the SAT either.  Which is why the PSAT is given at least one year in advance of the SAT.  To give students time to improve their skills, not learn new material.
And not doing well on the PSAT or SAT does not predict college (or life) success.  If you want to know how well you will do in college, then look at how well you did in high school.  College isn’t a collection of standardized tests; it’s a collection of classes.  GPA is a better indicator of how well a student will do in college.  But even that… college is different than high school.  In many ways, it’s more flexible and more adaptable.  Students who don’t do well in high school may thrive in college because they get to create their schedule, pick their classes, determine their own path.  And some who do well in high school flounder in college for the same reasons.  What is most likely to help students succeed in college is support.  If a student goes to a college that fits their passions and personality, if a student has friends and family to lean on in the hard times, if a student takes advantage of the services colleges provide, that is going to determine if they thrive.
Let’s take some of the pressure off of our high school students.  Stop studying for the PSAT.  Use those scores for what they are meant for, to see if there are areas where skills can be improved.  Work on improving those skills, if you like.  But the PSAT does not determine a child’s future.  Stop acting like it does.

Are You Looking for the Perfect ADHD Metaphor... and Your Keys?

 I recently gave a speech at the Overland Expo Mountain West.  This was my first ever in-person speaking engagement.  And I ran into a problem that I don't expeience when writing.  I couldn't be sure of my audience's knowledge level.  When writing, I can assume that if you are reading an ADHD blog, you know what ADHD is and have some connection to it.  I can also assume that if you don't know what I am talking about and you care, you can Google anything you don't understand.  However, the same assumptions cannot be made when speaking in person.  Maybe someone is just wandering past my room and notices that I am pretty animated and that the audience is laughing, so they stick their head in.  And people probably aren't going to start Googling in the middle of a lecutre.  But I could make the assumption that at least some of the people there came there with the specific intent of seeing me and learning about how to live a nomadic lifestyle with ADHD, since that was the topic of my talk.  And those people already know what ADHD is.  The conundrum was how to explain what ADHD is without boring the pants off of everyone who already knew.  I decided what I needed was a metaphor.
ADHD is like a summer's breeze, riding a roller coaster, being a bunny rabbit.  Yeah, not as easy as it sounds.  And then it occurred to me.  ADHD is best explained in the context of losing your keys.  Hey, it's something everybody with ADHD and most people without it can relate to.  We all understand that frustration and panic and confusion that goes with key losing.  And it can really explain what is going on in the ADHD brain.

Let's start with the question of how did I lose my keys in the first place.  Seriously, how did I do that?  For those of you who don't know, I am a digital nomad.  I live in 103 cubic feet.  And I can I lose my keys without even getting out of the driver's seat.  I'll be driving down the road and decide that it's time for a break.  I'll pull over, reach in the back to get a snack, relax, play on my phone, have a little nosh.  And then it's time to get going down the road again.  Only, I can't because I can't find my keys.  I look on the dashboard, where they are supposed to be.  They aren't there.  I look on the passenger seat, where they are likely to be.  No, not this time.  I look on the floor, in between the seat and the console, in my bag, everywhere.  I even look in the glove compartment, even though I know I haven't opened that in weeks and there's nothing in there besides ketchup packets.  I can't find my keys anywhere.  And the questions is how did I lose my keys in the space of 20 minutes and 103 cubic feet.  
Because I have problems with my working memory.  Most people have heard of short term memory and long term memory, but what is working memory?  Working memory are the memories you are making and using at the moment.  Working memory is what lets you remember that I told you to turn left at the third light when you get to that light.  Working memory is how you remember that the big, bad wolf easily blew down the house of sticks, while you read the part about him not being able to blow down the house of bricks.  And working memory is what lets you remember where you put your keys down when you put them down.  If that information doesn't go into working memory, it can't go into short term memory and if it doesn't go into short term memory, it can't go into long term memory.  Which means 20 minutes later, I have no idea where my keys are.
Another reason I lost my keys is that I have trouble with my PPO.  I don't mean my health care.  I mean Prioritizing, Planning, and Organizing.  In order to not lose my keys, I need to first say to myself, "I lose my keys a lot.  I don't like losing my keys.  It makes me unhappy.  I should do something about that."  Then I would need to think about how I could avoid losing my keys in the future and then put into place a plan of action or organization that would let me keep track of my keys.  But I don't.  I just get upset and angry when it happens.  A breakdown in any of these steps is going to result in my frantically searching the car for twenty minutes.
And I lost my keys because I have very little impulse control.  When we think of a lack of impulse control, we often think of compulsive shopping or gambling.  Maybe we think of someone who blurts out the first thing that comes to their mind in a conversation.  But impulse control can also mean not just dropping your keys when you are done with them, so that you can move on to something more interesting.  
Well, now my keys are lost.  I don't know how I lost them, just why.  But now I have to deal with that.  But I have trouble dealing with that because I have issues with my flexible thinking.  Flexible thinking is what helps you to deal with new (and especially unexpected) circumstances.  Although, let's be honest, at this point, losing my keys is not the least bit unexpected.  But I had thought that I would be back on the road, rolling towards my destination, only to end up searching my car for the keys.  I don't deal well with that.  But I don't always know I'm not dealing well with that because I have issues with my self-monitoring.  Self-monitoring is the ability to understand what you are feeling in the moment and name it.  The inability to self-monitor goes hand in hand with a lack of emotional control.  If I don't know what I am feeling, those feelings can overwhelm me.  When I lose my keys, there's going to be cussing.  There might also be screaming and crying, but for sure, there is going to be 103 cubic feet of F-bombs.

That all sounds very dire.  And it can be.  It's very difficult to live with ADHD.  It can feel like you are constantly in that state of panic and confusion that goes alone with losing your keys.  But it's not always like that.  I have put it in this negative situation, losing keys, but life isn't always negative and ADHD isn't always bad.  The inability to transition and lack of flexible thinking is transformed into hyperfocus.  Hyperfocus is the reason that you will never, ever beat someone with ADHD at Halo.  Hyperfocus is when everything else in the universe is drown out and there is only one thing the brain is focused on.  This is very useful and can often help people with ADHD.  Lack of PPO and impulse control issues turn into creativity, spontaneity, and humor.  People with ADHD are just so much fun to be around.  And lack of emotional control doesn't just apply to anger and frustration, it also applies to joy and wonderment.  You haven't seen joy until you have seen the face of someone with ADHD as they learn something new or experience a triumph.  ADHD is a burden and a blessing.
Oh, in case you were wondering... I got out of the car and heard the keys fall to the ground.  They were in my lap the whole time.

I Don’t Know Why They Say It Isn’t: Failure Is Always An Option

 Why does failure have to be a negative thing?  Who decreed it so?  Who decided people should always succeed?  Don’t get me wrong; I like success.  It’s great.  I’ll even go so far as to say that I prefer success over failure.  But failure’s fine, too.  Why not? 

Most pro-failure posts are going to go on about how great failure is because that’s how you learn.  And it absolutely is.  That’s pretty much the only way to learn.  But what if you fail and it turns out that it’s not a learning opportunity.  It just didn’t work out.  That’s okay, too.  Not everything in life has to matter.  Not everything has to have value.  Sometimes, stuff just happens.  Sure, it’s wonderful if you can learn from a failure and use it to motivate you to improve.  Yeah, you go!   
When I went for the written portion of my driving test, back in the days when we used dinosaurs (do you know how hard it is to parallel park a Brontosaurus?), I failed.  That’s it.  I took the test and I didn’t get enough answers right and I failed the test.  I went back the next day and retook the test and passed it.  Not the best story.  I didn’t learn a lesson about perseverance or determination.  There was no montage of me staying up all night, surrounded by books with titles like, “The Law of the Road” and “Driving and You,” drinking too much coffee, falling asleep with pencils in my hair.  I didn’t have an emotional breakthrough as I discovered that, yes, test anxiety is real and I have it!  I don’t think I even studied again.  I just shrugged it off, came back the next day, and got my permit.  No, it wasn’t material for an After School Special or Lifetime Movie.  But it also wasn’t material for an After School Special or Lifetime Movie, if you see what I am saying.  It was just something that happened.  I don’t know why.  Maybe I was distracted or nervous.  Maybe I didn’t read the questions (or answers) correctly.  Maybe... I can’t even think of a reason.  I just didn’t pass.  It wasn’t meaningful or tragic or inspirational.   
Life is filled with so many giant, life-changing events, but not everything has to be one.  It’s okay to fail and have it mean nothing.  Unless you are skydiving, you should feel free to fail.  Most of the time, it isn’t going to matter.  Sometimes it will be good.  It will mean that you’ve learned something and that you have the opportunity to change and explore new paths and possibilities.  Embrace those moments!  They can change your whole outlook on life.  They can be what drives you.  They can be the best things that ever happen to you.  Or it will be something you never really think about again. 

Why does this matter?  Because fear of failure stops people from doing things.  Things they want to do.  Things they need to do.  Things that will help them grow and will allow them to live the life they want to live.  People are afraid to fail because someone said failure is bad.  Again, I don’t know who, but it must have been someone important because now almost everyone agrees failure is bad.  But most people can’t tell you why.  Just simply because it isn’t success.  But what if we stopped thinking that?  What if we strived to do our best for the sake of doing our best and not for the sake of succeeding?  What if we tried things and didn’t worry about the outcome?   
Yes, of course, there are times when success really matters.  I hope that my surgeon and my banker and my veterinarian are all very successful.  But does it really matter if you don’t pass a test when you are allowed to retake the test as many times as you want?  No.  Not really.  Does it really matter if you lose at bar trivia or at a pick-up basketball game?  Does it really matter if you look stupid when you dance?  No, none of that matters.  Go try something new.  If you fail at it, that’s okay.  If you don’t learn anything when you fail at it, that’s okay, too.  You can pick yourself up and try again or you can just move on to something else.   

Hey, You! I Have Something Important to Tell You

Yes, you. You, the person with ADHD who just happened upon my blog. I want to talk to you. I want to tell you that this is really happening to you. Your life is very difficult. It’s harder for you than it is for others around you. You aren’t making it up. You aren’t exaggerating it. You aren’t milking it for sympathy. This is actually happening to you. And I’m sorry because it sucks. It’s hard and painful and, yeah, it just sucks. But please understand: It sucks; you don’t. You are doing an amazing job. Really above and beyond. You are trying so hard. And it shows. Right now, it might feel like your life is falling apart around you and you are holding it together with duct tape and safety pins. Wow! That is so great! You are amazing! You have the strength of a thousand! And I am really, really proud of you. If nobody has told you what a spectacular job you are doing, let me. You are doing a spectacular job. You are fighting through a hundred different obstacles just to make it to the end of the day. And you do it. It isn’t always pretty, but you are holding it together. You deserve a pat on the back. Give yourself a pat on the back. Now, I want to invite you to imagine what you could do if you had more than duct tape and safety pins. Imagine what you could accomplish if you had a toolbox full of tools at your disposal. Imagine the heights you could reach, the worlds you could build, the dreams you could live.

I cannot be too clear about this: There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, if you have ADHD, it’s likely that you’re a pretty cool person. You are probably caring and funny and just a joy to be around, in general. You’re fine, so stop trying to fix yourself. You can’t fix what ain’t broken. And trying is only causing you pain. What you can fix are the mental and physical environments in which you live. You can change how you think about yourself. You can change how you approach life. You can change what it means to be successful, productive, and happy. You can take control of the world around you and adjust it to fit you.  
And I really hope you will. I hope that you will take control of your world because you deserve more than duct tape and safety pins. You deserve the best in life. You deserve to have your dreams come true. And you deserve to rest. Really, you must be exhausted. Life shouldn’t be this hard. And when you realize that you aren’t the problem, it will start to get easier. Love yourself for who you are. Because you’re so damn lovable.  

You are freaking awesome!  I just thought you should know. 

Get your tools here 

Welcome to my new blog!

 Hi!  I'm Jennifer.  

Let me tell you a little about myself.  I am an ADHD coach, working primarily with high school, college, and adult students.  I am also a digital nomad, traveling North America with my Jeep, my gypsy trailer, and my bunny rabbit, Thor.  

ADHD and other executive functioning disorders run in my family and have been part of my life since I was born.  I went to Towson University (no worries, nobody else has heard of it either) and got my degree in English with a specialty in Writing.  I started out my career as a tutor for special education students.  I could see that my students needed help with more than understanding Macbeth.  I went on to teach GED classes at a correctional halfway house.  While I was there, I met many students who were there becuase they had needed help at some point in their lives and they didn't get it.  I wanted to be that help.  
I enrolled in the ADDCA Coaching Program.  I have finished my classwork and expect to finish my field work in June.  I'm very excited! 

 In this blog, I will share with you information, insights, and opinions about ADHD.  I welcome any questions that you might have and I will answer any that you send me or leave in the comments.  I will probably also talk a little about my adventures and my bunny.  Welcoming people to your blog is the virtual equivalent of inviting someone to your living room.  Please treat it like that.  Make yourself comfotable, but I would appreciate it if you would use a coaster.