Does 9-5 and 1.9 Kids in the Suburbs Sounds Like Death to You?

That's okay.  Frankly, I'm right there with you.  But many people seem to like that sort of thing, so I'm not going to rag on it.  I don't need to tear down someone else's dreams to live mine.  But we have to stop equating 35 years and a gold watch to success.  Yes, that can be success, but it's not the only kind.  The world has changed.  There is far less company loyalty.  Almost everybody is an at-will employee.  In the last 20 years, people working independent contractor (1099) jobs has risen 30% (Harvard/Princeton).   People change jobs, if not careers, every 4.2 years (Bureau of Labor Statistics).  What a great time to have ADHD!  This is the world for you.  Sorry everyone else. 

It is a time of self-employment.  ADHD folks can be fiercely independent and they are go-getters.  And nowadays, you don't have to work for anyone else.  If you have a marketable skill or product, start your own business.  If you think you can do something better, go do it.  Build that start up, open that doggy daycare, sell your art.  

It is a time of innovation.  If anyone can build you a better mousetrap, it's someone with ADHD.  If you can't find a job you want to do, then create one.  Be a professional bridemaid.  Or bring back phrenology.  Review ice cream on YouTube.  Start a lizard farm (I don't know where you will find lizard-sized tractors, but you'll figure it out).

It is a time of multiple income streams.  How great is that when you have a bunch of interests that you bounce between?  You don't have to have a job; you can have five.  You can spend time polishing rocks and then do some coding and move on to brusking and call all of that work.  It's okay that none of those is likely to support you because all of them will.  

It's a time of remote work.  You can work from literally (almost) anywhere!  You can work all over the world while sitting in one place or you can work in one place while you travel the world.  Restless, bored, looking for adventure?  Well, then get up and get moving.  Work can come with you!

It's a time of risk-taking.  The big risks can pay those big rewards.  There is value in being able to take that leap of faith, try that crazy idea, make the unpopular decision.  Sometimes you just have to jump and hope the net is there.  
This is a time tailor-made for the ADHD brain.  You can live your big dreams.  Or a bunch of small ones.  You can find your passion and then live to work or work to live.   You don't have to hold down a job.  You don't have to live like everyone else.  You can be you.  

And that is what success is.  Success is being comfortable with yourself, who you are, and just how f-ing cool you are.  Success is living the life that fits you best.  Success is joy.  
I would love to hear from you guys.  Leave a comment and tell me about your success.

Stop Hiding: How Denying ADHD is Hurting Your Child and Everyone Else

I have been working with a student for a couple months whose stated goal is to get straight As.  In pursuit of that, she and I meet 4 or 5 times a week and do two-hour sessions of body doubling.  Since we’ve been doing this, she has caught up on all of her past due assignments and has gotten to and is maintaining an A average.  I’m really proud of her.   
As I am setting up my business, I am working on my blog and website and various other marketing stuff that I can’t stand, but, you know, you gotta do what you gotta do.  So, I asked the mother of this student if she would be willing to write a review for me.  The mother responded that she would be happy to do that, but that she didn’t want anyone to know that her daughter has ADHD and is getting help, so could she please write her review anonymously.  I responded that, of course, I understand and that all my reviews have only a first name and a location.   
But that was a lie.  Not the part about using just a first name and location.  That’s the truth.  The lie was that I understood.  I don’t.  I don’t understand even a little bit. 
Okay, a little bit.  I understand that the mother is trying to shield her daughter from the stigma and discrimination that she imagines her daughter will face if there is an ADHD label.  What I don’t understand is why she thinks that is a good or necessary thing to do.  I’m not going to say that there isn’t a stigma against having ADHD.  There is.  Announcing that you have ADHD can make life difficult in school, work, and social situations.  Some people think of ADHD as a behavioral issue or a lack of character.  Some people.  But is the stigma greater than or less than everyone thinking that.  Because some people know that ADHD is real and they understand that there is a real struggle going on.  Without that ADHD diagnosis, there is no reason for people to see the symptoms of ADHD as anything besides personal choice.  And worse yet, so will the person who has ADHD. 

The only way hiding ADHD will work to reduce the amount of stigma a person faces is for that person to then pretend to be “normal.”  So, not only does this person have to fight through their ADHD and pretend to be something they aren’t, they have to do that without help and without the support of those who understand.  Every symptom is now seen as a shortcoming by those around them.  And that will be internalized.  How could it not be? 
Hiding a disability, any disability, puts an unreasonable amount of pressure on the person hiding.  And shame.  We don’t hide things that aren’t shameful.  Why would we?  The mere act of denying ADHD creates the stigma that one is trying to avoid.  It proves to the person who is suffering that what is happening to them is their own fault and something that set them apart.  When we ask our children to hide who they are, we are telling them to hate themselves.  We are telling them that their core nature is unacceptable and won’t be tolerated.  We are telling society that we agree that ADHD is a character flaw. I am imploring all parents out there, out your children; out yourself.  When we are open and honest, we create an environment where discussions can be had and help can be gotten.  Teach your child that it is acceptable to be different.  Because if you don’t actively do that then you are actively teaching them that they are not acceptable.